The Bad Moms Club

Bad Moms Are Patriotic: Patriotic For BACON CAKE

Does anything scream Canada more than bacon?

Okay, maybe maple syrup, hockey, toques, and beavers, but bacon definitely rounds out the top five. And both my daughter and I love eating eating bacon with maple syrup on the side while wearing toques and watching hockey, so, you know, we're a pretty patriotic family.

The Easy Bake World Will Never Be The Same

True story: For an embarrassingly huge chunk of my life I wanted an Easy-Bake Oven.

In fact, from the time I was able to make requests from the Sears Wishbook at Christmas time and pretty much until I moved away from home, I asked for an Easy-Bake Oven as a gift. I never got one.

I'm not sure why. My parents were very generous at the holidays and they did buy me a Ouija board one year which seemed pretty risqué, not least because my parents are devoutly Catholic. So why not spend another fifteen bucks on an oven that wouldn't summon the dead but instead create marvellous baked goods all from the magic of a lightbulb?

Ten Reasons Why Bacon Is Sometimes Better Than Sex

A recent survey says that 43% of Canadians would choose bacon over sex. I say: duh, eh? I mean, bacon's pretty awesome, right? And it's superiority to sex in certain circumstances is, I think, clear - especially if you're a. parent

Consider the following:

Rainbow Pancakes Need Unicorn Syrup

The mom who created these gets five stars and two thumbs up from my kid, who now will not stop demanding that we look at these photos AGAIN and AGAIN and AGAIN and PLEASE MOMMY CAN WE MAAAAKE THEM?!?!:

The Bad Moms Club Crafting And Cooking Corners Present: A Plethora of Placenta

Personally, I didn't have much interest in saving my placenta when I gave birth. Yes, I was amazed by it (hello, we grow an organ which basically means we have special powers ergo we are super heroes) and I did ask to see it after it made it's rather lackluster début (it's tough following a baby) but keep it? Not my kind of thing. I don't like to carry my organs around once they've left my body.

A Very Bad Canadian Christmas Gift To You

If there's one thing that Canadians know well, it's winter holidays. If there's another, it's beer. So why not bring them together in one super Christmastastic glassful of awesome?

Behold, our holiday gift to you: BEER NOG.

How Bad Moms Do The Holidays: A Cautionary Tale

Last week, I had to pony up some treats for my daughter's junior kindergarten Christmas party, but as we all know, I don't bake, so. I had a problem. I didn't want to be the mom who just runs out to the grocery store at the last minute and buys Oreos. But on the matter of figuring out how prepare something homemade, I was at a loss.

So I asked the Internet. And the Internet - by which I mean, all the people who follow me on Twitter - answered. And, with the Internet by my side, I gave it a shot.

If you review the play-by-play, I was doomed from the start:

Made For Covering A Bad Mom's Tracks

How many times have you been busted by your kid for taking bites out of their snacks when they aren't looking or for eating the last cookie?

OH COME ON, I can't be the only one who does that. For that matter, I can't be the only one who hides the sweet stuff from her family.

I mean, Catherine admitted that she does it, just yesterday. She even recommended that everyone else do it (see step ten in yesterday's recipe for, Cinnamon Bongs.)

Her Bad Cooking: Cinnamon Bongs

I love cinnamon buns. I love cinnamon buns with a fiery passion that burns with the heat of a thousand Aga cookstoves. I will eat cinnamon buns anytime, anywhere, and I will groan loudly in ecstasy if they are even passably good.

I cannot, however, make them myself.

Her Bad Cooking: Would You Like Fries With That?

I'll bet you already knew this, but beaver is better when fried.