The Bad Moms Club

Simon Le Bon's Daughter Is Making Me Feel Old

Once upon a time, Bad Moms were Bad Durannies who always saved a prayer 'til the morning after. We were teens of the 80's and those pop culture phenomena made us who we are today (RIP Corey Haim).

This Bad Mom likes to pretend she's frozen in time and that she isn't old but sometimes reading the interwebz makes that difficult.

For instance, did you know that Simon Le Bon's daughter is the latest Pantene model?

*sigh*

Princess Of The Day: Awesome Shoes Edition

Are Disney Princesses all bad? I'm on a mission this week and next to examine whether or not I can, in good feminist conscience, let me daughter squee freely over Cinderella and her ilk, so that by the time we get to Disney World, I know whether to stop worrying and love the ballgowns, or try to get Belle to read The Second Sex. Or both.

Today's princess?

Shiloh Jolie-Pitt Got A Haircut, OMG!

Shiloh Jolie-Pitt is cute and adorable and it's obvious that she marches to her own drummer. I've never seen her wear baby heels in public like Suri Cruise and I don't know the last time she was pictured in a dress.

Mind you, I'm not watching her day and night. But nor do I see the need to observe her closely to make sure that she's living up to gender expectations. I simply don't think that her lack of fancy footwear and sparkle and ribbons and tulle means anything more significant than that the girl likes to be comfortable. Word on that Ms. Shiloh.

Her laid-back style has, however, concerned some media folks. They're worried that she looks like - gasp! - a boy. They worry that her parents, gene-pool winners Angelina and Brad, dress her this way because they wanted a boy. Hogwash, I say.

Pajama Bottoms: A Theory In The Evolution of Public Acceptance

I have this theory -- one that probably doesn't hold an ounce of water -- about why so many members of my generation and younger feel comfortable wearing pajama bottoms -- including those thinly disguised as yoga gear -- pretty much anywhere short of work, weddings and funerals (though I'm sure it's been done.)

(Of course I'm talking about my own (anti?) fashion habits and I'm hoping you can relate. For the record, I'm pretty sure that I wore yoga pants for the first 18 months of my child's life. Maybe 36. *cough* Working from home is my enabler, pinky swear.)

Bad Moms Are Sometimes Hipsters, And Sometimes Unhappy, But Usually Not At The Same Time

I don't know if you already know the site, Unhappy Hipsters - it may be that I am the last person on the planet to catch on to this - but either way, I have to tell you, it spoke to me. Not least because it takes on something with which I have a deeply complicated relationship: the idea of the hipster parent.

Hands-Free Boob Accessories For The Win! Or Not!

A few years back I read that multi-tasking was a myth. Apparently people just can't get things done simultaneously; quality is sacrificed for quantity, things thought to be done faster are not, blah blah blah, so *poof*, multi-tasking doesn't really work as well as we'd like to think it does.

Let's not think too hard about what that means for parenting.

Anyhow, I try to multi-task. I try to sort laundry while on the phone making appointments, I try to upload photos for grandparents while answering emails, I try to do the food prep while in the shower (don't judge me, Kramer did it first.) And when I was breastfeeding and pumping, I tried to pump and do pretty much anything that would offset the crippling boredom of sitting around with machinery attached to my boob.

Too bad I didn't have this:

Did Angelina and Brad Want Shiloh to be a Boy? This Expert Says No While Rolling Her Eyes.

So while we're all talking about Angelina and Brad (is it true? are they really done? why do I care so much?), let's talk about this: why is USWeekly worried about their kid wearing pants? So Shiloh wears pants: SO?

Am I the only one who thinks it's weird that they noticed she often wears pants? Are they really that hard up for celebrity news?

Anyway. They had an expert - AN EXPERT - weigh in on the earth-shattering, nail-biting question of 'Do Brad & Angelina Want To Turn Shiloh Into A Boy?'

Worried About Your Post-Partum Nethers? Try A Bedazzler!

Somehow, I think that my Frankenvulva isn't going to be helped by Jennifer Love Hewitt's tips for nether-beautification. Which is not to say that it's not worth trying, but, um, I won't be trying.

You can go ahead and knock yourself out, though. Just be sure to let us know if you do.

(Video after the jump...)

The Barbie Chainsaw Massacre, If Elsa Peretti Had A Barbie. And A Chainsaw.

I stated it just last month but it bears repeating: I've given into the entire Barbie phenomenon and bought my kid the one item she begged for consistently. Barbie is in the house.

It's been painful, but as I said a few weeks ago, that little bitch inspires my daughter's imagination and makes her happy so how can I deny that? Everything in moderation with regular reality checks and I figure it won't warp her body image too much (right? RIGHT?)

Anyhow, despite my reluctant acceptance I still prefer seeing Barbie in the following state...

They Don't Call Them Funbags For Nothin'

I was all set to just laugh at this latest innovation in boobwear, but then I realized that I totally wanted it: