Confession: I'm incredibly disorganized at the holidays, specifically the ones that hit in December. At this point my Christmas and Festivus cards aren't sent (or even purchased), gifts -- even for those who live far away and require one month mailing windows -- haven't been selected, oh hell, I don't even know who I'm buying for this year. CRAP, I suck at this stuff.
Hats off to those who do it all: cards, cookies, home-made gifts that don't suck, personalized wrapping paper, organizing and costuming the local neighbourhood production of Handel's Messiah right down to wrangling the donkey. I don't hate you, I just don't understand you but still, to you I give a hearty round of applause from my couch.
But maybe this year will be different in casa motherbumper (no it won't) because this year I've been bookmarking some gift ideas for friends and family that might be on my list (if I ever make one). Since the likelihood of that list ever being made is slim to none, I thought I'd use these ideas to start some totally unofficial gift idea shopping guide right here at the Bad Moms Club. Shouldn't waste good ideas, right? Hellz no.
The first idea is for that more challenging child on your shopping list. And by challenging, I don't mean hard to shop for, I mean hard to wrangle. For that child, may I suggest:
MY FIRST TAZZR!
You can't imagine my disappointment when I discovered it was fake. Sigh (kidding folks, I knew it wasn't real after my husband pointed out the warning).
So how about something more cuddly, like a stuffed animal? A plush toy can't hurt a child, right?
Well it can't inflict harm unless it is a total nightmare-inducing, mutant teddy bear from hell:
Am I wrong to think this is kind of cute? Now I can't get Rockwell's "Somebody's Watching Me" song out of my head. Of course my four year old totally wants it because she has a huge streak of her mother in her, but I'd be freaked that she might poke her eye out on a tooth.
See folks, even I have standards. I'll probably just get it for myself.
Anyhow, that concludes my gift guide ideas for now. Who knows if there will ever be a continuation of this post? Like lists, I make few promises, folks.
Comments