Bad Moms Know Their Bud? Tyra Talks Herbal With The Soccer Mom Set

Words that I never thought I'd hear come out of my mouth: I'm, like, totally bummed that I didn't watch The Tyra Show this past Monday. Because, really: it was an episode called Soccer Mom Stoners.

Yeah that's right: Soccer Mom Stoners.

First, Tyra, I applaud you for tackling this controversial topic, and second, my dear Queen of the Smize, I adore that you didn't use the phrase 'bad moms' in the title.

In fact, I love the title and I suggest that we all start using it as a party theme.

Anyway. This past Monday Tyra invited a few chronic, but by all appearances normal, moms (aka: the stoner soccer moms) who do not fit the chronic stereotype (or do they?) to participate in what was promised to be a lively debate with moms who think these ganja-loving parents are the scourge of society. Okay, I don't know if that's what any of them were thinking but odds are I'm close. And like I said, I didn't watch the show so I'm just going off promo stuff from Tyra's site and some clips at Jezebel.

(I love that the sub-heading for the show on the Tyra site is 'This show has gone up in smoke!' She has a brilliant writing staff. I wonder if they were stoned when they wrote that.)

So I'm not too sure how the debate between stoner soccer moms and not-stoner soccer moms actually went or if in fact it ever became 'lively'. Do stoner soccer moms ever really get lively?

It was probably meant to be a well organized shame fest on the opposition side, but on the pro side? They were probably too busy trying to figure out why Tyra's weave was trying to talk with them.

I'm totally kidding. They were probably thinking about the food spread in the green room. Then giggling over the phrase 'green room'. Then hoarding all the Cheetos.

Jokes aside, I hope that somebody made this point, and I hope that it was a stoner mom: becoming inebriated to the point where one cannot or does not care for their child is not acceptable parenting -- ever -- regardless of the means by which someone became intoxicated (beers, bongs, bathroom cabinet.) So if these women are getting mad high while minding children, they aren't really on the ball for their parenting gig. But neither is a parent who has one too many beers while relaxing with their family. Or the one who took one too many of mommy's (or daddy's) little helpers either. (Conversely, is getting a little relaxed with some herbal any more problematic than having a glass of wine after dinner? I'm asking.)

Yeah, I know, weed is bad AND illegal, but alcohol - and prescription drugs - can be just as bad when misused.

So I'm curious: anyone out there watch the show? How did it turn out? Any thoughts on the topic, or any brownie recipes to share? Was the segment on the two guests who work the pole in order to survive the recession (why'd you think this topic went with stoner moms, Tyra, hmm? WHY?) more exciting?

Anyway - what do you think? Stoner moms - worse than three-martini playdate moms? Or?

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Comments

[Michelle]

Damn I'm sorry I missed that. I would've loved to see that one!

I don't get down with the herb.....but I don't really think it's any different than having a glass of wine, popping a xanax, or drinking a beer or two at home.

[Rita Arens]

Not worse unless they get caught. Because if they get caught, then they've broken the law and boy, is that hard to explain to your child.

Because it's illegal, I put pot firmly in the "adults don't do it" section of my head. It's also in the "damn, that was fun" section of my head, but pot -- like streaking and stealing lawn ornaments -- is not something I want to have to explain to my daughter, ever. In the lead by example category, it's just off-limits because it's illegal.

That said, I think it's beyond ridiculous that it's illegal, and if it becomes legal, I'll totally change my stance and put it in the "no worse than alcohol" category -- wherein I feel you shouldn't let your kid see you wasted, because that's scary to them. But after they go to bed -- hey, relax a little once in a while.

[katie]

@Rita_Arens Well said. If it was legal the issue would completely change but fact is: it is illegal and breaking the law is not something children need to learn from their parents [insert joke about 'learning that stuff from their peers' right here.]

[katie]

@Michelle - Totally agree with "but I don't really think it's any different than having a glass of wine, popping a xanax, or drinking a beer or two at home."

[julie]

I don't think it's any worse than having a drink to relax. As a matter of fact, it has the added bonus of not being an addictive substance.

That said, while I think it's okay to have a drink in front of your kids, I wouldn't feel comfortable with someone smoking a joint in front of my kids. Partly because of the legality of it, but mainly because of second hand smoke issues.

But after the kids are safely tucked into bed - a drink, a joint? What's the difference? I'm with Rita - relax once in a while. Everything in moderation.

[motherbumper]

@Julie - I agree, the second hand smoke would be more of an issue to me than anything else (perhaps more than legality). And yes, totally agree: if it was legal, like any other substance moderation would be key .

[Allison Zapata]

I see nothing wrong with doing either responsibly - key word here. and at least with pot you can function the next morning....no hangover ;-)

[Allison Zapata]

and personally, I would rather catch my teenager* smoking a joint than binge drinking.

*my teenager is 18 months right now.

[julie]

@Allison - I did a spit take with my tea at your asterisk. (No, not the herbal variety).

[Sara L.]

This subject hits close to home. I'll share that my nephew started smoking pot when he was eleven. He found it in his parent's bathroom, and had seen them smoke it. His parents assumed he had no clue about it. He's still smoking at 18 and has been to jail twice because of it.

That being said, I'm pretty sure he'd had a few drinks by age 11 also. Some kids can handle learning about moderation, and some parents can handle drinking and smoking moderately. Some can't. I think a parent's job is to recognize what our kids can and can't handle, and act accordingly. If your kid did bust you smoking a doob, how would he or she handle it? What would you tell them?

Once a parent's behavior endangers the child's life (and I'm not necessarily talking just about getting in a car and driving while intoxicated, but rather, jeopardizing that child's long-term well being), the parent must figure out another way to unwind at the end of the day.

[Allison Zapata]

@julie hahahhaa

[Jenny Ondioline]

Sara L. what a story. I feel bad for your nephew. That's just nuts IMHO, that his parents smoked in front of him. I had some neighbors like that, every night as soon as their kids went to bed they would light up and get completely fried. I always thought, as the kids got older, that they would figure out something was going on. Their kids are now in their late teens, I think, and I often wonder how they fared. I've completely lost touch with this family but I think of them often, and hope for the best for the kids.

[julie]

@Jenny - Would get completely fried or smoke a joint? Would your opinion be the same if they had a glass of wine once their kids went to bed? There's a difference between that glass of wine and downing the bottle, right? Same difference between smoking a joint or working your way through a couple of grams.

I take no issue with your opinion, I just want to make sure the comparison is the same.

[Atomic Mom]

Pot, to me, is fine. The only (and I want to emphasize the word ONLY) problem with pot is the legal aspect of it. You get caught = you go to jail. THAT is not good for children. Other than that it's no worse than dad having a beer while watching the game or mom's glass of wine.

Then there are mom's like me who rely on "Mama's little helper" that was mentioned, which in my opinion is no worse than a joint either.

There is a line, however, that should not be crossed. You, as a parent, shouldn't get so messed up on ANY of these substances to where you cannot function to care for your children. Even if they are asleep you need to be alert and sober enough to take control if an emergency arises.

One word : Moderation. Use it with everything you do.

[Heather]

Wow, I must be in the minority. I don't think that any substance that can change how you may or may not respond in an emergency should be taken when you're in charge of taking care of your children, especially when your children aren't old enough to watch out or get help for themselves. Legal or not, if you aren't able to be the parent your child needs you to be whenever they may need it, I can't condone that. There could be a fire, your child may wake up sick, or any of the other million things that can go wrong as a parent.

I'm not anti-pot or anti-alcohol. But I am anti-anything that makes me unable to be the best mother I'm able to be. I won't drink wine unless my husband is home b/c I know I won't stop at one glass. Too many people are unable to stop when they should, and moderation is a word that an awful lot of us aren't familiar enough with.