Bad Moms Love Lost, But Totally Don't Know What The Hell Is Going On, OMG

I've been sick. Like, Island-infection-dip-me-in-the-Temple-hot-tub sick. So sick that I've barely been able to raise my head to slurp my Benylin DM, but not so sick that I couldn't watch Lost. And I'll say this: Lost makes a little more sense when you're hopped up on meds. Not enough to be comprehensible, but still. Every little bit helps.

Anyway. Seeing as we watch Lost every week, and further seeing as we are always totally confused by it, we though that we might bring our confusion here, to chat about, just as we might do if we had actual real relationships with you people and, you know, hung out. So, like, not a recap - if I could follow things closely enough to produce a recap, I wouldn't be this confused - I think - but more of a discursive WTF, a sharing of the things that are confounding us, an airing of our grievances concerning too much Kate/not enough Sawyer/will Jack stop grimacing already, etc.

(Spoilers ahoy, if you haven't watched the first two weeks' episodes)

For example:

1) What was the deal with the title of last week's episode, LA X? Yes, I know, LAX is the airport, but the episode is LA - space - X. What does that mean? Are we meant to take the X as Roman numeral X - that is, 10? If so, why? Or is it just something really boring, like X refers to the unknown, blah blah blah? And don't tell me that it doesn't matter: this is Lost. Everything matters.

2) Just before Juliet died, and she was babbling about going on a coffee date with Sawyer? That was her transitioning to another parallel reality, wasn't it? Where everything is rebooted and she and Sawyer are destined to be together and they go to Starbucks - right? Hence the: "it worked." So would that mean that the Island is purgatory, or an afterlife, or...? (Yes, I know that the other characters is Sideways world aren't dead - or most of them aren't - but I don't know that that matters. Maybe it's just that your consciousness gets transitioned there when you die?) (These meds are AWESOME, by the way.)

3) Dogen = cool. "I don't like the way English tastes on my tongue." Lennon = whatever. I've never really liked hippies.

4) Kierkegaard's Fear and Trembling (the book found in the corpse's hand) is an extended reflection on the nature of faith - but doesn't it also closely analyze (it's been a few years since I've read it) the story of Abraham - who struggled with, but gave into, God's command that he sacrifice his son - and hold Abraham up as an ideal of faithfulness? What might this tell us about Jacob and the Man In Black? Did MIB 'sacrifice' Jacob? (Although MIB had Benjamin murder Jacob, so, that maybe doesn't work.) (But! What about the father-son duo of Christian Shepherd and Jack Shepherd? Sacrifice, ahoy? Or?) (What was I saying about those meds?)

5) The Man In Black/ Fake Locke/ Flocke/ The Smoke Monster/ Whomever: he's pretty creepy, right? But what do you want to bet he turns out to be the good guy?

6) Sayid: is he a zombie? is he possessed by someone/something? Smoky/MIB? JACOB? (If dead Locke is possessed by MIB, could dead Sayid possessed by - wait for it - Jacob? Because wasn't it Jacob who directed everyone to take Sayid to the Temple and the dirty hot tub, etc? Where he got, you know, deadified? Hmmm?)

7) If there are going to be undead on Lost, could they pretty please bring back Boone in his current incarnation as Damon The Hottest Vampire Ever After Edward?

8) So that crazy Australian stewardess is back, and in the Temple, but what about all those children the Others grabbed along with her (and before her, and after her...)? There don't seem to be any children in the Temple. WHAT ABOUT THE CHILDREN?

9) Gun-toting crazy-haired Rousseau Claire! How awesome is she? And? If she is a zombie? That will be even more awesome.

10) Is it terrible to say this? Bereaved Sawyer: NOM.

Feel free to share your thoughts, confusions, and random outbursts of Sawyer-directed lust below...

Comments

[Carrie]

I love the fact that the previous week's episode is replayed the following week with handy little "pop ups" in it to help you figure out WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!!??

[Tasha]

This is the best LOST post ever! My 5 year old asked, what's so funny? Cause I'm laughing so hard at your bereaved Sawyer comment. Sayid possessed by Jacob...I think you're on to something there! I believe the LOST writers are taking the same (or maybe stronger) meds you are when they write the show, cause it MAKES NO SENSE!

[Meghan - AMomTwoBoys]

Carrie, remember when VH1 used to do Pop Up Videos? Those were the best.

Anyway, I TOTALLY forgot about the children. Dammit, now there's another thing to add to my growing list of Lost confusion.

[katie]

I want to be cured of what ails me with a dip in the temple hot tub with Sawyer AND Sayid (Zombie Sayid, Jacob-Sayid hybrid, whoever Sayid is -- as long as it's his body). Then I'd make myself a LOST sandwich to cure whatever plague I'm currently carrying.

Obviously I am on the same cold medications but... whatever.

[red pen mama]

1. the space in LA X is representative of the sideways reality. Like: this is what happens... kinda. (I'm not even on meds, I'm just OBSESSED.)

2. Yes. That's right.

3. I like Dogen and Lennon, I have to admit. What I like best about Dogen, though, is Jack's reaction to him. I like the new Jack quite a bit.

5. I think the same thing, that jacob is going to turn out to be the bad guy. I don't want to think it.

6/9. Sayid/Crazy Claire: they had/have what the Frenchies got infected with. Probably. Although maybe Claire is just Rousseau all over again: crazy, bereaved mother who's been alone on the Island too long.

8. The children were in last week's episode (LA X). They handed out refreshments in the Temple. no really.

10. I actually don't like sad Sawyer. Like, at all. I'm afraid he's going to blow his head off. That's what I told my husband.

See? OBSESSED. I think about this show all the time. I have a problem. I'm okay with that.

[Joanie]

I was really mad when i realized Flocke was not Locke, but rather umm, Anti-Jacob. I kinda liked Locke, in that you-are-more-interesting-than-Jack sort of way.

I keep feeling like Jacob, Flocke (aka MIB), and Richard are all tied together because of their non-aging & weird connection with the island. Is Jacob good, Flocke bad, and Richard some sort of neural Switzerland? I am not sure if the Swiss wear that much eyeliner.

Also, I was really hoping for like, a severed arm in Hugo's guitar case. Instead it was a fake wooden prop ankh. Seriously, it looked like something stolen from the set of the Mummy Returns...

Another note however, if Sayid is "infected" with something like Jacob, what was Clair infected with? I mean Dogen said Jack's sister was infected too, but with whom? Are they just the island spirits?

I still think they are going to end it all with some crazy "it was a dream" nonsense. They can't really go too spiritual because I know a lot of folks that will be pissed with a heaven/hell/purgatory ending. In all honesty, I think they stole a bunch of fan fiction and are winging it at this point.

Also, check out 5 Second Film's best ending guess: http://5secondfilms.com/v31/watch/lost_writers_room

[carrien (she laughs at the days)]

There were children. The two kids that were taken were in the scene with the stewardess right at the beginning when they were walking through the temple, but they were bigger. Remember, in the current time they've been on the island 4 years now, not little anymore.

I think they'll say that the bomb worked and that the people on the island still are trapped in some sort of alternate reality/dimension existence that they escape when they die and their other selves will go on. How else does the whole island end up under water as the oceanic flight passes above it? The island is doomed people, it's just a matter of time.

[Her Bad Mother]

Also, did anyone else notice that Claire's ultrasound was October 22, 2004 - one month AFTER the plane was supposed to go down???

I can't believe I forgot that one.