Bad Moms Love Lost But They Would Never Smash Lighthouse Mirrors Or Make Fake Monster Babies

This week on Lost: Crazy Feral Claire is crazy! And feral! And has an axe! Also: Jack's life is - wait for it! - different in Sideways World, and also, there's a lighthouse!

Spoilers ahoy...

I love Crazy Feral Claire. Crazy Feral Claire has spectacularly matted hair, can stitch your leg after it gets nearly cut off in one of her leg-hold traps, can whip together an awesome fake monster baby from animal skulls, sticks and tulle and can swing an axe like nobody's business. Also, she's got some friends in very important places - or, at least, friends inhabiting other people's bodies, which makes them pretty important, if you care about things like that.

I certainly like her more than Jack. I've never like Jack, mostly because he never unfurrows his brow, whines a lot, and has a savior complex, none of which are endearing qualities in an otherwise reasonably attractive man whose pants never wrinkle. That said, his Sideways story was kind of charming this week, and might have won me over if Jack hadn't gone around throwing tantrums and smashing mirrors back on Island Time.

1) What is up with that, anyway? Why does Jack lose his shit and freak out and smash things whenever he fails to understand things?  I mean, I get that the lighthouse would have been a bit of a head trip, but hell, the whole Island is a head trip, and just because one set of mirrors shows an image of your childhood home doesn't mean that someone was using those mirrors to stalk you. And even if it did mean exactly that, again, has he learned nothing from the Island by now? HIS LIFE IS NOT HIS OWN.

2) Except when it is, which it seems to be in Sideways World where he has - DA DUM - a kid. Also an appendectomy scar, which he can't remember getting (psst: it was on the Island, remember? Juliet did it.) Whatever could that mean?

3) How much do you want to bet that - wait for it - Juliet is the mother of Jack's child in Sideways World? The timing is wrong for Sarah, the woman in his life in past flashbacks, and it's not Kate, because they don't (fully) recognize each other at the airport, but you just know that it's going to be someone important and that there's going to be some big dramatic reveal and we'll all go OH MAH GAH and I think that person is Juliet. Who is going to end up with Sideways Sawyer. You know, going dutch for coffee. You read it here first.

4) Did Jack not go to his dad's funeral? His mother remarks that David, his son, was upset during the funeral, which Jack doesn't know about, and his mother goes, 'didn't he tell you?' Which, I don't know, suggests to me that Jack - after all the trouble of going to Australia to get the body - did not go. Of course, we know that the body wasn't there, either, but it couldn't exactly get there on its own, while Jack could, because he has Jeep, so.

5) Wasn't Daniel Faraday a music prodigy, too, like Jack's son David? But his mom, like, totally squashed that and killed his joy so that he wouldn't end up on the Island but that's how he ended up on the Island anyway and then, you know, dead?

6) I could write a whole series of posts on the parent issues on this show. Maybe I will, once I figure out how to alter the time-space continuum to my advantage. Addressing Jack's daddy issues alone would require a whole alternate time-stream.

7) Not to mention Crazy Feral Claire's fake monster skull baby. That was messed up. If I ever get around to writing Everything I Ever Needed To Know About Parenting I Learned From Lost, there'll be a chapter on Don't Sing Lullabies To Fake Monster Skull Babies Because The Other Moms Will Talk.

8) Also, don't leave the axe near the crib.

9) "You made me lie to a samurai." God, I love Hurley.

10) Holy freaky lighthouse. Three questions about that: 

• what places did the other two images reflect? One image looked to reflect a structure that seemed Asian; the other looked kind of like a steeple? A church?
• who's coming to the Island? Widmore? Desmond? PLEASE BE DESMOND.
• who's number 108, the number/degree that Hurley and Jack were supposed to turn the dial to before Jack freaked out and turned it to his own number, and why did they not think to look, OH MY GOD?

What have I missed? What's blowing your mind?

Comments

[Marilyn @ A Lot of Loves]

What's blowing my mind? The fact that I just sat there watching the show last night and didn't think of any of this on my own...well except that Jack is big whiny mirror-smashing baby and I can't really stand him anymore and if the black monster man wants to come and eat his face I'll be alright with that.

[That_danielle]

I think Jack did attend his father's funeral but didn't notice his son being upset because he's a little clueless. Just like he had no idea that his son was a master pianist.

Btw I loved Dogen as the other dad at the audition!

[Cindy]

I'm thinking Kate better be careful talking to Claire next week!

[BadM0Mbot]

The asian structure was the place where Jin and Sun got married, where Jacob touched them, and the church with the steeple was where Sawyer's parent's funeral was. It was where Jacob gave him the pen to finish his note. I'm thinking maybe alterna-world is the land that undoes whatever Jacob did. Maybe Sun and Jin aren't married, maybe Sawyer isn't hunting er, Sawyer, and maybe when Jacob touched Jack in the hospital it wasn't the first time. Maybe that's why we see his childhood house, cause Jacob's been influencing him longer than we thought.

Whoops, I think my geek is showing.

[Her Bad Mother]

That_danielle,

See, I thought that was all kinda weird, because a) why would Jack's son have to *tell* him he was upset (his mother didn't ask, 'didn't you notice?' - she asked, 'didn't he TELL you?') and b) that piano thing - his son said that he used to sit and watch him practice and get really intense about it (that's why he didn't tell him he was auditioning), but Jack seemed to have forgotten.

is he just forgetting stuff? memory blockage because HE WASN'T REALLY THERE?

And yes: DOGEN. Awesome.

[Bay @ Queen mother blog]

I love, love, love your Juliet baby-mama theory!! In my Lost recap (well, in the comments, I was in a hurry) I was trying to figure out who it could be & I think you're so right.
Totally ridiculous that they wouldn't look at the other names on the wheel.
And I agree with the other commenters who think Dogen rocks. I have the hots for him :)