Banning The Dictionary In School: One Step Forward For Idiots, One Giant Leap Backwards For Childkind

I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried: Schools in Menifee Union school district in Southern California are banning the dictionary, Merriam Webster's 10th edition, from the grade four and five classrooms because (brace yourself) the kids are looking up dirty words.

THE HORROR.

A parent complained that their child looked up the definition for 'oral sex' and apparently that is just plain wrong. So they branded the book as containing "sexually graphic" content that is "just not age appropriate" for the students.

How dare that child go to a reputable source for the proper definition of a word? Why didn't that child ask a schoolmate - you know, another fourth-grader who probably thinks that oral sex is how orals procreate - and then get misinformed? Why didn't this child look it up on the internet and then get warped from all the porn thrown in his or her face? WHY DID THIS CHILD TURN TO A DICTIONARY? WHY, GOD, WHY?

THE DICTIONARY IS THINE ENEMY! It tells you things -- accurate things! vetted by committees of established language experts! -- and that's such a huge problem and must be overcome.

Sure, I get that it's shocking that the child is wondering about oral sex, but at the same time, fourth and fifth grade are not kindergarten and sex ed started at my school around then, so. Anyway, the first question those parents should really have asked before having the dictionary banned is "where did little Jane or Johnny learn the term 'oral sex'? Odds are: an older child.

Because last time I checked the dictionary didn't read like a novel; you kind of need to know what the word is before you look up what it means. I suppose the child may have come across it while looking something else up but still, I'm 99.8% sure there wasn't a picture and the definition is what I'd call clinical not really graphic -- as in 'oral stimulation of the genitals' doesn't really make my loins tingle.

Thankfully, not all parents in these schools are on board with the ban. One parent, who sounds like a voice of reason, is quoted saying 'It is not such a bad thing for a kid to have the wherewithal to go and look up a word he may have even heard on the playground...You have to draw the line somewhere. What are they going to do next, pull encyclopaedias because they list parts of the human anatomy like the penis and vagina?'

Uh sir, don't give these people any more idea, m'kay?

source via disinformation

Comments

[mapsgirl]

Oi! I'll admit that when I was picking out a Children's dictionary for my 4 year old, I wanted one that didn't have a definition for sex. That is something I want to teach her at the right time. But grade 4 is more that old enough to hear about oral sex. I do like that parent's comment about the encyclopaedia tho...smart parent.

[motherbumper]

@mapsgirl - A four year old -- I totally get that. Its not something that should be on their radar. Not that Im saying oral sex should be on a fourth graders radar either but at least the idea of sex at that age isnt completely inappropriate. Oi! indeedy.

[Carrie]

*facepalm*

I remember getting very limited sex ed type info at grade 3 or 4. All about strangers and improper touching. Sure, it sucks that your 8 or 9 year old is curious about sex but *NEWSFLASH* that's to be expected. Parents need to try and remember what THEY were curious about at that age.

[red pen mama]

Clearly, a parent in denial. Probably should have taken a really deep breath first. Then gone and talked to the kid.

[Marilyn]

Geezuz! It's one thing for the parent to complain but another for the entire district to BAN IT! OMG. My head might explode from the stupidity.

[@sweetbabboo]

Seriously? That is ridiculous. Absolute insanity. Idiocracy, here we come.

-Abby

[Val]

Yeah, my parents always had the policy that if I could read it, it was fair game. And then they made me sit on the stairs during the sex scenes of movies. So, my first exposure to sex was just the noises. LOL.