This Just In: Babies Are Tyrants

I think that Rousseau said it best when he said, "as anyone who's ever encountered babies in the wild can tell you, they're shiftless little balls of deception and greed."

No, wait. That was Cracked magazine. But they were more or less paraphrasing Rousseau - I'm not going to call it plagiarism, because, you know, I don't think that Rousseau ever called babies shiftless - who argued in his Emile that babies are hardwired to try to make us their bitches. Or something like that. Anyway, Cracked basically summarizes the evidence in this article, which is pretty funny, and as straightforward a summary of some of the arguments of the first chapter of Emile that you're going to find. So you can just go ahead and skip that seminar I was going to offer on Mothers And Their Babies: Why They Skeered Old White Guy Philosophers and we can move right along to the master class on Making Your Tyrant Baby Work For You.

Comments

[katie]

When is "Mothers And Their Babies: Why They Skeered Old White Guy Philosophers" going to be offered? I'd like to collect that credit before mah baby isn't a baby anymore.

also: I live for articles like this. Thank you.

[zchamu]

This was totally awesome."Before they learn how to poop without assistance, babies know how to create an alibi." Hah.