The Bad Moms Club

Bad Moms Know Their Bud? Tyra Talks Herbal With The Soccer Mom Set

Words that I never thought I'd hear come out of my mouth: I'm, like, totally bummed that I didn't watch The Tyra Show this past Monday. Because, really: it was an episode called Soccer Mom Stoners.

Yeah that's right: Soccer Mom Stoners.

First, Tyra, I applaud you for tackling this controversial topic, and second, my dear Queen of the Smize, I adore that you didn't use the phrase 'bad moms' in the title.

In fact, I love the title and I suggest that we all start using it as a party theme.

Bad Moms Aren't Prudes, They're Just Not All That Keen On Phallic-Themed Supervillians

We're still mad about that whole nether-probe thing, which prompted far-reaching ignoring from Canadian politicians (one parliamentarian posted a link to our petition from her website, but still. If that's ACTION I'm a freaking superhero.) We're still pursuing that issue, but we've just come across another that we feel the need to shriek and rant and possibly petition about. And what do you know? It involves nethers, too!

Our friend and fellow bad mom Karen just wrote at Canada Moms Blogs about this insane, bizarre and utterly disturbing innovation in sex education for teens and young people in Canada:

Bad Moms Know Food Babies When They See Them

As a self-proclaimed celebrity gossip monger, food babies can be the bread and butter of the biz. I have conjectured a whole whack of non-existent pregnancies over the years based on unflattering photos alone.

<-- Like the one right here *hangs head in shame*

But I've stopped. Mostly because based on these standards, I've been pregnant for the past twenty years. Maybe even longer.

So, who do you suppose is going to be rumored to be carrying a baby, based on this little bit of belly bunching? (She'll be said to be competing, no doubt, with Angelina's revenge bump.)

File This Under Things I Never Thought I'd Say: I Like Kourtney Kardashian Ever Since She Became A Parent And Admitted Tasting Her Own Breastmilk

Kardashian. Not a name that I'd ordinarily associate with respect, but I've got to say: since Kourtney Kardashian became a mom this past December, I've reached deep into my skeptical soul and found some respect for her.**

**Disclaimer: This applies to Kourtney only. The other Kardashians? Not so much.

It all started with her screaming 'PHOTOSHOPPED' when OK! magazine put her on the cover sans baby weight with her son seven days after giving birth. Good for her for not going along with the wacky world of celebrity and trying to convince the world that forty plus pounds of pregnancy weight just melted away like spilled ice from a drink on an LA sidewalk.

And now, Kourtney has publicly stated that she's tasted her own breastmilk. You go girl.

Baby In A Can

Every so often I trip across something that I haven't seen before and am rendered speechless.

Absolutely speechless.

Which, you know, for me? Is rare.

Bad Moms Love Their Babies No Matter What, Mostly, I Think

I don't know. I think that this anti-Tebow ad - you know, countering the pro-life advertisement featuring star quarterback Tim Tebow and his abortion-eschewing mom that ran during the Superbowl - is kind of hard on basement-dwelling, hygiene-challenged slackers, don't you?

Should The Zero Tolerance In School Gun Policy Mean Exactly That?

A nine-year-old boy was almost suspended from school over a small toy gun -- like the one in the image to the left -- because the school has a zero tolerance gun policy.

No one really thinks that this toy is really a gun, right?

So the boy was threatened with a school suspension in order to scare him into not packing anything larger, or perhaps more lead-filled, upon his return? Because maybe this kind of reaction could be the first step to driving him to do just that.

Hey Ricky Gervais: Thanks For The Office But Now Please Shut The Hell Up

Alternate title: Ricky Gervais Hates Babies. No, really.

Ricky Gervais might be a talented man, responsible for pop cultural gems like The Office and Extras, but I lost all respect for him after reading an interview he did for the Times Online in which he argued for - no joke - forced sterilization of women.

Bad Moms Are Beautiful Just The Way They Are

Dear Heidi Effing Montag:

So I hear that you want your mom to get cosmetic surgery.

Your mom does not need cosmetic surgery. YOU did not need cosmetic surgery. Impressionable girls do not need to hear about how you think you needed cosmetic surgery and whatever nonsense that was that you were spouting about cosmetic surgery being a gift from God (theologians, get on this) or WHATEVER and so I would LOVE it if you would shut up about your new boobs and your new nose and your new plastictastic everything but especially? I would love for you to not prattle on about how you are going to buy your mom plastic surgery.

If It Makes Me Yearn For K-Tel, You KNOW That It's Bad

There is so much that is bizarre and disturbing about this video that I don't even know where to start. NO, wait, I do know where to start. Let's start with the creepy tweeny Bratz back-up dancing. Yes, kids rapping or hip-hopping or whatever - OH GOD I AM SO OLD - can be really, really funny, but you know what's not funny? Little girls pretending to be video harlots.