How exactly does one get Oprah's attention from the back rows of the studio without resorting to tacky foam fingers or crying inconsolably or both?
Easy: plan to have your water break during a show taping! Even if it's weeks ahead of your due date! See, I told you it was easy.
Every so often I trip across something that I haven't seen before and am rendered speechless.
Absolutely speechless.
Which, you know, for me? Is rare.
Last week I was exploding over the incredible overreaction of one school principal who made a nine-year old boy cry while threatening him with suspension because he was carrying a two-inch long LEGO gun at school. In my opinion, that principal took the zero-tolerance gun policy to the extreme and now it appears she has brethren in art of overreaction at other schools.
Alexa Gomez, age twelve, doodled on her desk with erasable pen and was hauled out of school to the police station in handcuffs for her offence.
HANDCUFFED. TO A POLICE STATION.
How absolutely insane would it be to discover your name translates to something completely unacceptable to say in another language?
And when I say insane, I mean how crazy it must be to realize that your name is basically smut in Arabic, yet you grew up hearing it your entire life without a clue.
By the way, do you know how hard it was to write that first paragraph without using the phrase 'How much would it suck to discover your name...'? It was very difficult to not say 'suck'.
And why would I even care if I use that phrase? You'll see.
A nine-year-old boy was almost suspended from school over a small toy gun -- like the one in the image to the left -- because the school has a zero tolerance gun policy.
No one really thinks that this toy is really a gun, right?
So the boy was threatened with a school suspension in order to scare him into not packing anything larger, or perhaps more lead-filled, upon his return? Because maybe this kind of reaction could be the first step to driving him to do just that.
Continue reading "Should The Zero Tolerance In School Gun Policy Mean Exactly That?" »
I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried: Schools in Menifee Union school district in Southern California are banning the dictionary, Merriam Webster's 10th edition, from the grade four and five classrooms because (brace yourself) the kids are looking up dirty words.
THE HORROR.
Alternate title: Ricky Gervais Hates Babies. No, really.
Ricky Gervais might be a talented man, responsible for pop cultural gems like The Office and Extras, but I lost all respect for him after reading an interview he did for the Times Online in which he argued for - no joke - forced sterilization of women.
Continue reading "Hey Ricky Gervais: Thanks For The Office But Now Please Shut The Hell Up" »
Sometimes, you're just fooling around on Twitter while the toddler naps and suddenly, some piece of news just slaps you in the face like a wet surgical glove. This, for example: apparently, if you're a woman and you've had surgery, you might have had a team of medical students poking around your nethers and you don't even know it.
Continue reading "Bad Moms Don't Like Non-Consensual Nether-Probing" »
It's all about the mutant hybrids this week at The Bad Moms Club. First there was the love child of Harry Potter and Dangerous Minds. Now we are looking at the love child of a match made in music hell.
So, what would you get if you took those crazy Australian merrymakers called The Wiggles and put them in the studio with Malcolm MacLaren circa 1975? And then sprinkled them with lingonberry jam and gravlax?
The official equation would be: (Sex Pistols + New York Dolls) x The Wiggles / smorgasborg delights = ???
Continue reading "If The Wiggles Got Hit By a Sex Pistols Stick While Roaming Through IKEA" »
Last week my head spun around when I read about an eight-year old American boy who by all appearances and contrary to TSA's denial, is on the 'no-fly' list because he has the same name as a person who apparently is on the list.
That story was completely ridiculous and frustrating to read.
Now there is another story making me scratch my head in the name of common sense: Robert Munsch, world-famous Canadian author of such notable children's books as The Paperbag Princess and I Love You Forever, has changed the topic of his upcoming release because his publisher fears the story might unintentionally promote kiddy terrorism by encouraging kids to bring their loveys (yes, even this kind) onto planes.
